"No, that's not - that is, I appreciate it," Elijah says, sounding closer
to flustered than he has in their entire acquaintance. "I just wouldn't
know how to identify what you're describing, in myself."
"Oh-- well, it's probably sort of subjective? I mean, to me, I feel like it's-- like a warmth? That doesn't go away even after you're done trying to impress them?"
He smiles a crooked little smile.
"Go read some poetry about it. Other people probably work it out better than me."
"I hate poetry," Elijah murmurs, his chin still hooked over Rhys' shoulder
so he doesn't have to look him in the eye. "I know that I would struggle
to be...without you. At this point. And I expected to begrudge this new
arrangement much more than I actually have, however that might be
interpreted."
"Being open," he admits quietly. "It's...ironic, I suppose. I'm somewhat
aware of Quentin's arrangement and it seemed rational, but practicing
something similar hasn't been...easy."
Wow. It's a little overwhelming how little of this Elijah managed to let on to him. Rhys has honestly interpreted much of the man's reaction to his request to be non-exclusive as absolute, blank unconcern.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was this hard for you." Rhys offers, voice still soft, "Thank you for doing it with me anyway."
It's interesting that Rhys uses the term with me, he thinks vaguely, when
Elijah interprets it more as for me. It's not as if he's really
considered using his own rights as a non-exclusive partner.
"I've come to the conclusion that Darlene would probably not regret it if
we hooked up while...slightly impaired," Elijah says, clinically. "Beyond
that, I know I'm not an attractive person."
This is, curiously, a long-held belief that has never once butted up
against his ego. He's a genius. He was one of the world's richest men. He
never once needed to compound that with being physically appealing. While
he had decided he was going to be a talented lover so that the sex workers
he engaged wouldn't have reason to go telling tales, that was for the sake
of reputational management, nothing more.
Here, without any of the resources that once drew people in, he knows Rhys
is an outlier.
"Do you remember when I first arrived on board and was compelled to sing
about how I prefer sex with robots to humans? You are literally the only
person on board who wouldn't find that...terminally offputting."
He's not embarrassed by it, just....aware. At the very most, in a trashy
romance novel context, he's the second-string rich asshole who gets ditched
for the muscular stablehand two chapters in.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-12-13 03:04 pm (UTC)Elijah considers himself perfectly adequate at six feet, and does not.
"I can't say I've seen the appeal, but our relationship has a different history."
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:11 pm (UTC)"Yeah, that checks out..."
Rhys reaches for one of Elijah's hands.
"Is this helping?"
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:13 pm (UTC)He curls his hand around Rhys'.
"...I think so, yes."
Everything still feels oddly...delicate, but he's dealing with it.
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:21 pm (UTC)Little tug on that hand. Come up here to him please.
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:23 pm (UTC)Elijah stands, and moves closer, willing to draw in.
"...Thank you for understanding."
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:36 pm (UTC)Only when Rhys is safely in the nape of Elijah's neck and neither of them have to look at each other again, does he say:
"You know I love you, right?"
Probably you don't, since Rhys has absolutely never said this out loud, or even thought about it very hard before.
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:38 pm (UTC)If humans could bluescreen.
"I...no. I didn't know that," he says, cautiously.
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:42 pm (UTC)Says Rhys, still determined to be cool. He rubs his hand fondly up the back of Elijah's head, and turns a little to kiss him on the cheek.
"Well, now you do. So don't worry so much."
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:54 pm (UTC)Hey Rhys, this is the opposite of not worrying!
"...I'm aware this doesn't sound emotionally healthy, but I don't think I can identify whether I reciprocate or not."
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Date: 2019-12-13 03:59 pm (UTC)Rhys sounds perfectly calm, perfectly confident about this.
"I'm just telling you, because I want you to know. I love you, and I'm not planning on going anywhere."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-13 04:01 pm (UTC)"No, that's not - that is, I appreciate it," Elijah says, sounding closer to flustered than he has in their entire acquaintance. "I just wouldn't know how to identify what you're describing, in myself."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-13 04:18 pm (UTC)He smiles a crooked little smile.
"Go read some poetry about it. Other people probably work it out better than me."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-13 04:23 pm (UTC)"I hate poetry," Elijah murmurs, his chin still hooked over Rhys' shoulder so he doesn't have to look him in the eye. "I know that I would struggle to be...without you. At this point. And I expected to begrudge this new arrangement much more than I actually have, however that might be interpreted."
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Date: 2019-12-14 12:29 am (UTC)He falls a little quiet then, letting Elijah talk, smoothing fond little circles across his back.
"Which arrangement did you think you were going to begrudge? Being boyfriends? Or being open?"
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Date: 2019-12-14 06:19 am (UTC)"Being open," he admits quietly. "It's...ironic, I suppose. I'm somewhat aware of Quentin's arrangement and it seemed rational, but practicing something similar hasn't been...easy."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-14 09:07 am (UTC)"I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was this hard for you." Rhys offers, voice still soft, "Thank you for doing it with me anyway."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-14 09:33 am (UTC)It's interesting that Rhys uses the term with me, he thinks vaguely, when Elijah interprets it more as for me. It's not as if he's really considered using his own rights as a non-exclusive partner.
"...you're welcome."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-14 09:40 am (UTC)Speaking of which...
"Have you thought about anyone else?"
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Date: 2019-12-14 09:48 am (UTC)Elijah blinks at him.
"That would be purely an intellectual exercise, don't you think?"
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Date: 2019-12-14 09:54 am (UTC)"I don't-- why would it be?"
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Date: 2019-12-14 09:59 am (UTC)"I've come to the conclusion that Darlene would probably not regret it if we hooked up while...slightly impaired," Elijah says, clinically. "Beyond that, I know I'm not an attractive person."
This is, curiously, a long-held belief that has never once butted up against his ego. He's a genius. He was one of the world's richest men. He never once needed to compound that with being physically appealing. While he had decided he was going to be a talented lover so that the sex workers he engaged wouldn't have reason to go telling tales, that was for the sake of reputational management, nothing more.
Here, without any of the resources that once drew people in, he knows Rhys is an outlier.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-14 11:37 am (UTC)Rhys says, just, bare faced in his disbelief.
"You're like, trashy romance novel cover dude unattainable hot."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-14 11:42 am (UTC)"Do you remember when I first arrived on board and was compelled to sing about how I prefer sex with robots to humans? You are literally the only person on board who wouldn't find that...terminally offputting."
He's not embarrassed by it, just....aware. At the very most, in a trashy romance novel context, he's the second-string rich asshole who gets ditched for the muscular stablehand two chapters in.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-14 11:50 am (UTC)Counterpoint: He's the kinky billionaire who takes you up in his jet and gets his robot maids to undress you.
"And again, you're stunning. Even if that was a deal breaker for long term commitment, people would still want to go to bed with you."
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Date: 2019-12-14 11:53 am (UTC)He would fully admit that that had currency when he had a private jet and robot maids. Here? Enh.
"I've been here for over a year, and they...haven't," he says mildly. "Which doesn't exactly endorse your theory."
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